This is humanity.

The scream of war in the horizon, I lay half-limped against my mother’s corpse, unable to grasp the fact that she is indeed…

A corpse. A dead body. She’s not breathing. 

Cold hands, dilated pupils, no vital signs. She lays unmoving on top of me after saving me from a collapsing building just moments ago. 

Then, it hits again.

The sound of terror. Another place destroyed. Maybe more than ten miles from where I’m laying, but the sound of death found its way to reach my ears.

A loud boom echoed, followed by buildings crashing, then the cries of screaming men, women and kids. Not long after, it went silent. I can smell it. The smell of burnt skin, with a mixture of mortal smoke. While the bomb was deployed further than what my senses can possibly reach, I can vividly imagine it. After all, I just experienced it firsthand just a few moments earlier.

Damned war. 

What was this for? To create a better place? By firstly killing each other? How dare those up above play God with the lives of thousands! With my home! With my friends! With my mom!

How could they? Aren’t they human just like me? Just like us? Just like the corpse lying around here before? Weren’t they precious enough lives to save? Are they just toys you can cast aside just for, for…

For what? Power? A sense of superiority? Your so-called revolution? A better world?

They’re living, breathing people, just like all of you! Is humanity this messed up that you sacrifice thousands just because you have the power to? Is that it?

I sobbed. I cried. I stood up slowly, lifting my mother’s corpse softly and then hugging her. Then, tears stream like a downpour. My ears caught the sound of more missiles being launched. One heading southwest, one heading north. I hear more screaming. I feel innocent human lives being taken. I can feel from every fiber of my being how what I call humanity shatters to pieces.

Is this humanity?

The corpse of a soldier next to me and my mom caught my eye. He was kind. He tried to usher us to refuge. Now, he’s laying down there lifeless after trying to save the lives of countless.

I saw his gun.

Loaded, ready to use. One pull of a trigger and I will be gone from this reality. From humanity who only seeks nothing but their own ego, their own selfishness.

I’m going to see my mom.

Slowly rising, I declutched the gun from the dead soldier’s vest. Slightly shaking, I held it against my temple. The trigger is between my fingers. A little more and I’m going to see them. See my friends. My family. My whole home. My mom.

Goodbye, humanity. 

“Stop, idiot.” I feel a hand on the gun, stopping my fingers from pulling the trigger. I turned my head and saw eye-to-eye with a teenage girl. She’s crying. Why is she crying?

“Every last person that is laying lifeless here was hoping to survive. Now, you’re going to throw away that precious chance that all of these people gave you? What your mom gave you? She shielded you with her body because she wants you to live!” the girl’s scream rings throughout the quiet used-to-be town; now-graveyard.

My eyes went blank. “Who cares anyway? The world’s messed up. Do you really want to live in a world where everyone takes others lives this easily?”

She went silent, and took a few steps forward. Then, she slapped me in the face. Hard. It hurts. It really does. This is real. It’s not a dream.

“Look around you!” she shouted. “There are still people alive. People who didn’t start this war, who don’t want this either. But do you see them giving up? Open your eyes!”

I looked up, then left, and right. I see people. Not much, maybe nine to eleven. Making graveyards while holding back tears. Hugging their loved ones one last time before burying their bodies with soil. Trying to give them a proper funeral. 

Not only that. I saw others. I saw the ones who survived helping out the wounded. I saw everyone, not knowing who they were, hugging and supporting each other. I saw someone with dead eyes and another comforting them. I saw someone trying to end their life with a shattered glass and someone who bleeds holding that exact same glass so it won’t pierce the other’s heart.

I saw humanity.

The humanity with compassion, the humanity who comforts others even though they’re standing on top of their loved ones’ ashes. Even though they are hurting enough, they gave other people hope. Regardless of race, religion, or gender. They pushed a brink of kindness to everyone and anyone.

They’re hurt. They’re scared. They’re broken. Nevertheless, they keep on living. They try to make amends with the shattered reality. They get up and restore what’s left. They combat any malignance that comes towards them. They are fighters.

This is humanity.

Sebuah cerita untuk sahabatku, Venus Valencia, seseorang yang tak pernah menyerah untuk berbuat baik dalam dunia yang tak pernah berhenti menghantamnya. Thank you for keeping on living.